Closure.

Closure.

blogging reflections on life

Hello. Sunday morning and it's sunny, what could be better. The whole day ahead of me, brilliant.

Something I need to get off my chesticles. Oh no, not that chuffin Troll again, yep, but this is something I have to explain. Many people have said I should ignore and delete the comments, and if I publish, it only feeds them. Troll will be jumping up and down with glee knowing they have got the publicity they crave and knowing they have got to me. Well I don't see it that way.

I don't give a toss about the feelings of the Troll, the only person I care about is me. Self preservation is the name of the game. It isn't about a battle between them and me, it's about me feeling good about myself. Bottling something up inside is a form of self destruction, letting it all go is opening the pressure valve and that's what I did. I don't spend a lot of time feeling sorry for myself because why should I? I have a great life and no one can take that away from me. My life is what I have built for myself, and always will be.

Something festering needs to be released. I was getting annoyed by this person who came back time and time again to bully me. I tried the recommended approach, ignore and delete. Yes, that works for a while, and for anyone who has not been bullied in this way, that's easy to say, and not so easy to carry out. Systematic bullying does wear you down even a strong person like me will feel despair at times. Yes, I am resilient, I can bounce back, but there comes a point that whatever you are doing to cope is not working.

I got to that stage, and that's why I had to fight back. As I said, bottling something up, something that is bothering you, putting on a brave face, can lead to all kinds of mental issues. Something has to give. I am a person who needs to be up front, honest, and not afraid to show my true feelings, that's why I am writing as I am now. Secrets fester, putting on a show is false, being something I am not is false. It's the old cliche with me, what you see is what you get.

The Troll is opposite to me. Someone who who is secretly bullying someone under the name Anonymous, has issues, there is something not quite right in their life. I would say to this person, or any bully, get a life. Look inside yourself, do you like yourself, why are you so nasty? Get yourself sorted out, and if you don't there will be Karma, you will one day find yourself in a place you don't want to be.

So, I did what I did for me, I needed to let go of the of the build up which was beginning to take place in my head, and how I do that is by speaking out. I thank you all for your support and advice, I take it all on board, but ultimately it's down to me how best to deal with it. I take full responsibility for my actions.

There have been a couple of  'Sorry, goodbye', comments, which may or may not have been from Anon Troll. To be honest, I don't care if they are sorry or not, it's they who have to live with themselves. My exposing them wasn't about revenge, it was about me being honest, me releasing the pressure, and me doing the best for myself.

The matter rests for now, I have a life to live.

Thanks for popping in. Get yourself outside, keep walking, enjoy where you live. We'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip.

I have a set of balls

I have a set of balls

blogging observations reflections on life

Hello. I will never understand how people can be horrible to each other, why they feel the need to bully another human being. Is this a behaviour which is learnt, or are people born bullies? My memory doesn't go back to the beginning of my life, but I can't remember me ever bullying anyone. Indeed I was bullied at school, mainly name calling with reference to my appearance, but that's what kids did then and still do now.

What is the point of bullying exactly? Possibly to exert some kind of authority over someone the bully feels is inferior to them, it massages their ego to gain the upper hand. Possibly the bully feels threatened and needs to lash out to re enforce their own feelings of inferiority, again to 'big' themselves up. Or maybe they have a nasty trait in their personality.

Over the last five years or so, Troll has made it her mission to put me down, to criticize, to belittle me, and to ridicule my blog. The comments come in thick and fast, nearly always anonymous, sometimes with made up names, but always from the same area of the UK. I have a tracker on here. Sometimes they go quiet for a while, the Troll tells me they won't be reading any more. But the temptation is too great and they reappear after a gap of a few months. A little bit like OCD, Troll just cannot help themselves.

I call this person Troll, but in reality it is not trolling, it is bullying. This Troll has admitted that we have met face to face. A real Troll randomly posts nasty comments to everyone and everybody, this Troll is bullying me and it's personal.

Although the comments are aimed at putting me down, at undermining my confidence, after this length of time and the fact that I am still here, you can probably tell it's not working. The comments say more about the Troll than they do about me. I publish a few of them here for your perusal. Some of them are a lot worse than this, they get deleted, but I have saved a few of them so you can look into the mind of a bully. My comments in bold follow each one.

I don’t understand why you have cider and pretend it’s wine. Why not just have wine? Why pretend? Silly giggly video. Sipping it ‘like a lady’ doesn’t cut it for you, not when you’ve already demonstrated eating your meal out of a pan! Definitely not ladylike AT ALL! Not to mention the unmentionables, they’re certainly not ladylike!!!! on Save money on your alcohol.
Troll has no sense of humour. Personal comments about my appearance often crop up.

Posh speaking tone? Do you need a hearing aid my dear? There is nothing posh about mispronouncing the English language. As in ‘everythinK’ on Soup of the day.

in response to Ilona, I just had to watch your soup-making video, and thanks, you really made me smile! I agree that a home-made soup is the very best, though I sometimes throw in a small, diluted tin of chicken noodle soup into one of my concoctions just to make a bigger potful. Anyway, quite enjoyed your posh and clear speaking tone 

I expect the Troll is meticulous about using the English language correctly, both written and speech.

I agree, how rude. So disrespectful to call them Charlie and Cami, perhaps she thinks that’s funny. But what else can you expect from someone who doesn’t have a grasp of the Queen’s English, put everythinK in the soup. on Soup of the day.
A second criticism of how I speak, in the same post. 

Not sure you got your money’s worth there. £10 is an awful lot to pay for a bit of hard skin removing and a blob of moisturiser! on Hugo says.....

Another attempt to belittle me.

You certainly need a tripod. Two minutes of a shaky sink left me feeling quite nauseated. Your housework chores must take an awfully long time, it took you 3 minutes to wash one tiny patch of floor!!! on Getting close up to the job
I expect the Troll's household chores to be nothing less than perfectly timed. Critical of my fun post, again, no sense of humour. 

It’s none of your business whether someone gets paid for walking a dog. Tittle tattle of someone with nothing better to occupy their mind. on Fan of Heartbeat
Is Troll still working and is a little jealous that I can do exactly what I want with my time?

Hmmm, I do recall you yourself do put the occasional swear word on your blog, perhaps it’s marked by *** for some of the letters but the meaning is the same. on Mind your language
Troll has really dug deep to discover this snippet of detail from a blog post long past. Very OCD

Bugsy needs to be warm? Shame that you didn’t think that for poor arthritic Rocky. on Bills Bills Bills
Very below the belt. How low can Troll stoop? Very nasty streak. 

Chocolate Santas...its not Christmas again is it?! on Slashing the grocery bill

Chocolate Santas? Ha ha thought that would make you think. Write a post one day saying you don’t indulge in junk food then expose all on your receipt. You’re sure to say you bought them for someone else now, but we’re not all so gullible. Did you NEED all that veg? There were others who would have liked more. on Slashing the grocery bill
More scrutiny of past blog posts. The Chocolate Santa's were in a small packet costing 25p,  five of them, half the size of my little finger. Regarding all that veg, yes I did need it, and ate it, and there was plenty for others to take. Troll being nasty again. 

I don’t usually comment but find a contradiction here! Ha ha! You don’t want food that’s full of sugar and is junk? What’s cake then? Not to mention Chocolate Santas? CHOCOLATE SANTAS! Go on then tell us they’re for someone else, we’ll believe you! on Slashing the grocery bill
Don't kid me Troll, don't usually comment, ha ha. Three comments on the Chocolate Santa's. 

You could always sell trumpets. on Life is good on a pension
This is reference to blowing my own trumpet, which she has often accused me of in the past. 

What’s the big deal? Ok so you don’t like Christmas or socialising. Neither do I but I don’t make a big deal or fuss about it. Choose to stay home? Then stay home! Who cares? One thing for sure – you’re not likely to get invited next year so you won’t have the choice to make! One difference between you and me - I don’t feel the need to pontificate and repeatedly say ‘I am’ and big myself up. I don’t have an ego the size of a house either! on Only available from a supermarket
Troll, there is a big difference between you and me. I don't continually go onto someone else's blog and pull them to pieces. That's a laugh, ego the size of a house. I have never touted for more readers, more followers, and never entered for any blog awards. Don't need to increase my page views, because there is no financial gain for me to do so.

And the reason for this post is........if you are being bullied, get yourself a set of balls. The bully has the problems not you. Be thankful that you are not walking in their shoes, that your brain functions normally and your mind is not warped. Surround yourself with nice people and let the bullies fester in their own swamp.

I'm going to enjoy the rest of the day, looks good enough outside to go a walk. Thanks for popping in, we'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip 

Give Amy a boost.

Give Amy a boost.

blogging budgeting shopping money saving

Hello, I've just been reading a story in the Daily Wail, you know the one I mean, the Daily Fail. A thrifty mum is feeding her family on a small budget, and getting a lot of sarcastic, and nasty comments from the sad keyboard warriors who have nothing else to do all day. The same thing happened to me. Show the world that you are doing just fine and jealousy rears it's ugly head.

Thrifty mother of three. Read here. 

Amy has a blog, Hard up and Happy, and it's quite good, nice ideas for thrifty food. She is a happy mum with happy kids. Let's support another thrifty blogger and give Amy a boost, and post a comment on there. It will make her smile and show her that we are on her side. Stuff the nasty people.
Thanks a lot.

Thanks for popping in, and your nice comments on Bugsy. He has eaten a little and is now sleeping.
We'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip

Don't get lost in Blogland

Don't get lost in Blogland

blogging

Hello. Virginia asked a question a few posts back, so I'll answer it now. She is thinking of starting a blog and asks how do people find me. Well Virginia, it is a bit of a mystery isn't it, when I started no one knew me, and now I get 6,000 page views a day. Where do they all come from? I never expected this when I started my online diary.

I'll start by asking you a question, how did you find me? There's a clue in your answer. I started looking at other people's blogs, and if I felt I could add anything to the topic I left a comment. That then left my footprint (link) which other people could click on to have a nosy about me on my blog. They in turn left me a comment and put me on their sidebar reading list. It's like a snowball getting bigger and bigger and gathering momentum as you roll it down a hill. The more you read other peoples blogs and leave comments the more you get back.

Blog hopping from one to the next is normal, everyone does it. I do it, I see a post title on someone's side bar which catches my eye I think, I'll go and have a look at that. I might make a comment, or I might not. If you click on any of the followers little pictures it will take you to their profile so you can see if they have a blog or not. When you follow a blog your picture will appear on their sidebar.

It used to be that some bloggers asked for an exchange in links, you read mine and I'll read yours. They don't do that so much now. Those that asked were usually those who were starting a blog as a business and wanted to increase their page views, thus enabling them to get sponsorship.

Some bloggers do make a lot of money, but they spend a lot of time promoting their blog on other social networking sites. They need people to follow them and ask them to sign up, it makes the numbers look good. Someone could sign up to follow and never read the blog again, or on the other hand a blog can be open for anyone to read without them having to join anything.

Of course, you could ask all your friends and family to read your blog if you start one. I did at first, and they did read, but now most of them don't bother. My sister and my best friend very rarely read unless I tell them of a post they might be interested in.

If you do start one, Virginia, do it for you. Don't write for an audience because that is a different style of writing. I would much rather read a chatty, humorous blog than one from someone who has spent time writing a word perfect, grammatically correct, with perfect punctuation, article. I think it''s easy to tell the difference. I can read a magazine or newspaper if I want to read an article.

Are you going to give it a go, let me know and I'll have a read.

Thanks for popping in, we'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip

A walk cut short

A walk cut short

blogging walk

Hello and Good Morning. A walk was planned for yesterday, but had to be cut short as it started raining, and didn't stop, so a much shorter distance of 4 miles was achieved. Bit disappointing. I drove over the bridge to Welton, the village where I left Jo Brand to continue with her One Hell of a Walk. It's a nice little village, with a church and a duck pond on the main road through it. 

There aren't many pictures, it was difficult to juggle getting the camera out and pointing and shooting while holding the umbrella to try and stay dry. Along the edge of this field are a lot of sunflowers. I have missed the best of the display as they are coming to an end now. 

S'funny what you come across, soggy car seats dumped in a lane behind a farm. Can't imagine that it would be the person who owned the land who left them there.

In the same lane, piles of tree chippings. The dampness was accelerating a very strong aroma of pine and laurel.

Aha, the reason for the chippings, they have been tree felling. A couple of chairs to sit on while they had their tea break. Piles of logs, some stacked in industrial size plastic boxes awaiting collection, and look at those lovely clean white pallets. Wouldn't mind a couple of them  :-)

I got back to my car in the pouring rain and sat and ate my sandwiches. I felt a bit sorry for the wedding party which turned up in two decorated cars. It took a few minutes to sort out the occupants so that when they emerged they wouldn't get drenched and muddied up. Umbrellas shielded them from the deluge, and gathering of the skirts to lift them off the ground prevented them from getting too dirty. Such a shame when a special day is spoiled by the weather.

I drove back over the bridge and decided to call in at The Ropewalk, an arts centre in Barton. Two exhibitions, one at each end of the building, I wasn't impressed with hardly any of the exhibits. Two very colourful flowery pictures were nice, but on the whole not my cup of tea. Here is one picture painted in acrylics, it's for sale at £550 if you fancy it. Erm.....no thanks. I'd much rather get out into the countryside and see the real thing, it's cheaper.

Two readers have told me they are experiencing problems with email notifications, at least I think it is two people, one is Anon, so it could be the same person with two different problems. I am checking Blogger Help Forum, and it looks like others have had the same difficulties. I have to admit that I am not familiar with the nuts and bolts of what goes on under the bonnet. I will continue to look for a solution, but the whole thing baffles me. I have posted the questions on Blogger Forum, we will have to see if anyone replies, and if I can understand what they are saying.

Thank you to K for the lovely gift. Pictures to follow next spring when the flowers will be out in full bloom.

Outside calls, the weather looks a bit better today. I am going walking in Yorkshire soon, Youth Hosteling beckons. Enjoy your Sunday. Thanks for popping in.
Toodle pip

PS.
People with email problems might like to have a read of this. Might shed some light on it.

A good arty crafty site to check out.

A good arty crafty site to check out.

arty stuff blogging crafty stuff

Good morning. A quick in and out before I go to Crafty Club. It has been brought to my attention, by two people in fact, (thank you both), that Josie Russell is a brilliant artist and has a web site. I've had a look and her textile art is lovely. Worth a look for all you crafty people out there, and non crafty who want to buy greetings cards which are based on her designs.

I'm putting a call out to all bloggers to check their comments for spammers. I am getting a few disguised as real comments. Automated spam is not getting through now since Blogger changed things, but there are still some who will try. They appear to be friendly, and write a few words in connection with the post topic. Their link is embedded in their user name, so check them out before publishing. Another clue is that English is not their first language. Mum has a spam comment on her blog at the moment. If you want to keep your blog clean moderate your comments. Why let all and sundry use your hard work as a platform for their business.

Checking out. Catch ya later.
Toodle pip

A warning ;o)

A warning ;o)

arty stuff blogging

Hello. I'm having a rethink about the way I blog. I'm going to move over to my summer timetable because there is so much more I want to do. Even with the longer days there still isn't enough time to fit everything in. Don't worry, I am not giving up, or even taking a break, blogging will still be part of my day. However, the format will change slightly, to give me time away from the computer.

There won't be as many long, in depth, drawn out posts, these take a long time to compose. I'll save those for the winter months when forced to stay indoors. There will be more, 'Ten good reasons why', posts, I'll slot them in when the ideas come to me, but on the whole the Summer posts will be shorter and more like snippets of what I am up to, and anything that comes to mind as long as it can be written quickly. You may even get two or three a day. A bit like Tweeting but not quite so short.

So here you go. I haven't got the colours I need to continue with the picture, so I thought, I'll mix those I have got. After looking at it I realized it's not right. At the bottom bit on this picture the colours are too intense, so I took it all off. The green is fine, I'm happy with that, but the wall needs more mixing up, so I pulled the threads apart and re did them. It looks a whole lot better now.

The moral of this story, is, if something is not right, get rid of it, change it, find a better way, and start again.

Thanks for popping in. We'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip.