Don't steal my life, get your own ;o)

Don't steal my life, get your own ;o)

reflections on life

Hello and Good Morning. The weather has turned chilly and I am wrapping up more. The heating will not go on just yet, probably another month or two before it gets really cold. We are heading towards the end of the month again, they fly by, don't they. Only three more months left to the end of the year. How's your walking going? I am on 779 at the moment, had a boost this month with the Yorkshire trip and Ranger Ramble. I have passed the September target of 749, now heading for the October target of 832. Put your best foot forward and lets all have one last surge, let's do our best. 

Need a quick topic for today's post, so I'll answer an email here, thank you L for sending this, it has given me an idea. 

I think my life from the outside is too boring, I love your blog and like reading about other people. 

I meet up with the same people every year, a Belgium couple,loads of French etc. all who escape their cold countries to wait it out where I live. We walk our dogs,talk, swim,eat, drink. But nothing to write home about. In the mean time I'll follow you.

Doesn't it cost to blog? How do you do it?

Hi L. Your first sentence makes me want to shake you. Your life from the outside is too boring? Nothing to write home about? C'm on, surely it's not that bad. Every day activities can be made very exciting, with a few ideas thrown in. The activities you list sound pretty much OK, dog walking is fabulous, the joy that dogs give is far better than anything else. Talking to people is great, I do it all the time, sometimes for too long. I witter on a bit, but I always feel great after a brilliant conversation with like minded folks. I enjoy talking to strangers, people have fascinating lives when you ask questions. 

I like eating nice food, and the food I make myself is the best. Mixing and matching different ingredients, trying new ideas, making up recipes, is never boring. Stuff the conventional, invent your own new recipes. I don't drink much alcohol, I keep it as a treat. If I supped the stuff until I was sozzled, it would probably be very boring, and expensive. Again, mix and match, preferably non alcoholic low sugar drinks made with fresh fruit. 

Swimming I can't do, and I have no desire to, it does not appeal to me one bit. If you like swimming think of ways to spice it up a bit. Set targets, pool parties, design and make your own costume, fancy dress swimming. Outdoor activities I love and I never get bored with going for a walk, and looking around places. 

L, do not accept that what you have is all you are ever going to have. Same every year? Well change it, do something different, and then you will have something to write home about. If you keep yourself busy with new ideas, you won't have to follow me, you will have a life of your own.

The rest of the post is for everyone, read it if you like, I hope it helps. 

I don't very often tell my readers what they should be doing, but today I will make an exception. My life is my life, not your life, you have your own life. You must decide what you want to do with it, you must make up your own life, not copy mine. You are not me and I am not you. 

Anybody that feels they have a humdrum life........

'I want you to open your eyes in the morning and say to yourself, 'That's great, I have been given another day, I'll  take a few minutes to decide what I want to do with it. In 24 hours I will wake up to another new day, so I don't want to look back and think, that was a waste, I did nothing.' 

Ok, so if you are struggling a bit, things not going right, you will think that this is a load of tosh and will never work. That's up to you, but at least give it a try. We are approaching winter, a time when Seasonally Affected Disorder can sometimes creep up on us. Now is the time when we can takes steps to fight it. Our bodies need daylight, so go outside every day. Look for things to do outside, even for an hour or two. 

I know it's hard to get motivated sometime, I've been there, never suffered depression but have been very fed up at times. What I've learnt is that things never seem so bad after a nights sleep. Every morning I wake up refreshed and looking forward to a brand new day. My trick? I willed myself to become content with my life, and the older I get, the more content I become. I have brainwashed myself to be happy. If I am bored, I change things. No matter what is going on around me, what other people are doing, I am not them and they are not me. 

I get emails from people saying they wish their life was more like mine. Well all I can say to that is buzz off and go and get your own life. Sorry if that offends but that is how I see it. I write this blog because it's about how I live my brilliant life on a pension. I am happy that you come along and share the journey, I like company. What I don't want anyone to do is stay on the bus and forget to get off. There are plenty of stops along the way, hop off the bus and do your own thing.   

This quick topic has turned into a saga, so I'll get off and do something else. Before I go, I'll answer the questions, Doesn't it cost to blog, and how do I do it? 

All it costs me is £4 a year which I pay to goooglie to upload loads of photo's. There is a ceiling on how many you can post and I reached that after about three years. So now I pay them a piddling amount to carry on. The other cost is time, loads of it, but as I am in control of my time, I can allocate as much or as little as I like.  

How do I do it? Not sure if you mean how do you get started with blogging, or how do I keep it up for so long. To get started you click the 'B' icon, top left hand corner, and it takes you to the home page, and follow instructions. Blogging encourages me to write, and writing is creative. it satisfies some of my creative juices. If you want to become proficient at anything it's best to do it as often as time allows. If I didn't do anything all day I would have little to write about, so it encourages me to find things to do, to keep busy with what interests me. If you don't feed your brain you get nothing back, same as if you don't exercise and eat rubbish food, your body will deteriorate. 

Right, really must go, brain down time, want to do something practical. Thanks for popping in, now go away and do something new, and come back later or tomorrow to tell me what you have done. 

Toodle pip 

Two days later

Two days later

friends reflections on life remembering

Hello. I'm trying to keep myself occupied when inside I want to weep buckets. Anyone who has lost a pet will know all about it, and judging by all your comments, most of you do know what it's like. The poor little chap couldn't go on any longer, his arthritis got worse, the fatty lump in his tummy got bigger, he was going off his food, he became deaf, and was getting very confused. He woke me at 4.30am on Sunday morning in a distressed state, trying to bury himself under my duvet. I knew then he was telling me something. As I had to go out on Monday I felt it was unfair to keep him hanging on until Tuesday. A lady vet and her assistant  came at 12.45 and I held him supporting his head and he fell asleep in a second or two. He knew I was there with him. He now lies in the garden. 

I have skimmed through all your comments, to read them brings on more tears. I will have to go back to them later when it is not so painful. Thank you all very much. One day I will tell more of Rocky's story, but for now I need to try and get on with keeping busy. 

Yesterday me and Janet set up our stall at Epworth Show, to raise money for the rescue cats. It was very busy and our sales went very well, we were please with the amount taken. I sold all the shopping bags, and chatting to the customers was a welcome distraction to take my mind off things. At the end of the day I dropped Janet off and I didn't want to go home, but I knew the cats would be pleased to see me. 

I took a few photo's at the show, I love the shire horses. 

Vintage tractors.

I used to drive a small truck like this Bedford, loaded with doors and window frames on the back.

A good show of vintage cars.

Do you know, I never got to drive a Renault Magnum, it was the tallest cab in Europe when they first came out. .

Two young ladies performed acrobats on the back of their horses while they walked around the show ring. Everyone was eager to meet them and pet the horses. 

This chappie was telling the audience all about his sheep. The sheep were busy eating the whole time.

Boy was it hot in the produce tent, like a sauna, couldn't stand it in there for very long.

I've been pottering around the house this morning, doing all the little jobs that usually get left. Anything to fill the time. This afternoon I went to pay the vet bill, and I went to Great Outdoors to buy some new walking boots. My feet have got used to walking in soft trainers and feel like they have spread out a bit, so I need a boot with a wider fitting. Found some, now I need to wear them around the house a bit, then do some shorter walks of around four hours and build it up to longer walks.

Going out for a walk now, almost the end of the month and I am on target reach 666 miles. How are you all doing with your walking? It is helping to calm my emotions. I did a second walk on Sunday night quite late because I wanted to tire myself out before I went to bed. It worked.

Thank you for popping in. We'll catch up soon.
Lots of love xxx

Follow your dreams.

Follow your dreams.

ponderings reflections on life

Hello. Have I ever told you how much I hate the term, 'settle down?' I have just read this article about an Australian woman who took her young son out of school to take him travelling the world. She wanted to spend more time with him and self educate him. Somewhere in the comments someone asks how he will be able to settle down as an adult. Well, I was spitting feathers.

Where are the rules about settling down, does it happen when you reach a certain age? Is it something that is inevitable, the normal pathway from childhood, teenage years, and finally adulthood? I don't think so. The term 'settling down' says to me, stifling creativity. It says following the flock towards a life of humdrum existence. Ok if you choose to settle down as an individual later on and you are happy with that, but I love it when someone comes out and breaks the mould to follow their dreams.

Individuality is a kind of roller coaster ride. It's not safe, it's not steady, and it's not boring. I love going with my gut instinct, as this mother has done with her son. She has broken away from convention to do what she thinks is the best for the two of them. Her son looks happy, they are having the adventure of a lifetime, surely that has to be better than her being trapped in a stressful job, and him sitting for hours at a school desk trying to cram enough facts into his head to pass exams.

There are no rules for education, there is no starting date, and no finishing date. It begins the moment you are born, and ends upon death. Conventional education chiefs may think they know best, but sitting in a classroom does not work for everyone.

Have a look at their blog, actually it is a very good read, and see for yourself if this lad is missing out on anything. Who knows where his career path will take him. The world is full of possibilities, and he is out there grasping every exciting minute of it.

Thank you for popping in, I'll get on with some jobs now. We'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip

Cheer up, it might never happen

Cheer up, it might never happen

observations reflections on life

Hello. The emails are piling up, I will get round to replying sooner or later, be patient. One blog reader has put in a request so I will endeavour to answer her questions. A bit from her email.....
I wonder whether you would be good enough to do a blog post on how you stay so positive and happy? I'm nearing sixty and retired, life is getting a bit lonely. Don't get me wrong, I'm mobile, go out regularly and have lots of interests but my spirits are deteriorating. I just wondered, living alone as you do, how you keep so mentally cheerful and indeed, what cheers you in Life in general. I hope that makes sense?

It's always fascinating to learn how other people deal with living alone and I'm sure other people reading your blog would benefit from your thoughts. Unfortunately where I live there's a lot of emphasis on keeping children, young people and families entertained, but there's nothing for the older single person except Whist, Bowls etc and I'd rather die than do things like that. I think that's why so many people are old before their time - because they don't take any risks but fall into the 'old person' trap. It would be interesting to hear how you cope as I'm sure you must also get lonely sometimes?

Phew, where to begin. I think I have covered some aspects of this topic before but I can't find it anywhere. 

Living alone. I have had a lot of practice at it, if you do something long enough you get used to it. It would feel pretty strange to me if there was someone else here. Some people are family orientated and love being part of a large family, I am not one of those. I suppose that's the  independent streak in me, I think I was born with it. I always wanted to earn my own money and pay my way in life. I wanted to retain my individuality and not become half of somebody else. It's horses for courses, some people function better as a couple, I do not. 

Do I get lonely sometimes? Hardly ever is the answer. I can take myself off in my head to a different place. I don't actually need people around me to be happy, I am happy with my own company. Admitted, I do wonder sometimes if anyone cares about me, but I can't control how anyone else thinks, I can only control my own thoughts. For instance, I visit family in the Midlands, but apart from my sister, (she rings me), I rarely hear from any of them from one year to the next. I'm a bit disappointed that I make the effort and they don't, but then I remember that they are young, have busy lives, and have family of their own. I will probably end up being the aged aunt and cousin that no one can be bothered with. I am not bitter about that because that's how life is. I made my choices a long time ago, the position I find myself in is down to me, no one else. 

I have built a friendship base around me here, I know I can walk out of the door and there will always be someone to talk to. Saying that, if a person is so inclined you can be lonely in the busiest of cities. Low self esteem, shyness, lack of ideas on how to entertain yourself will lead to withdrawing indoors and not mixing with people. A suitable plan would be to work out what exactly you want to do. Really, for a single person the world is your oyster, the only hurdle you have to get over is to convince yourself to get on with it. 

You need to know why your spirits are deteriorating. Is it because you have run out of ideas? You ask how I keep so mentally cheerful, and what cheers me about life in general. I have said this before, I live with an attitude of gratitude. I am so very grateful that I have everything I need. I am so pleased that I was born in the UK, pleased that my parents were hard working and my mum taught me how to manage on not much money. So pleased that I found a job at 15 and worked for the next 45 years. I am so very happy that I have reasonably good health, and hope very much that it continues. 

I am an optimistic person, never worry about bad things that might happen because they probably never will. I take one day at a time and don't look too far ahead into the future. I wake up each morning and take a few minutes to be grateful that I am still breathing, and think about the wonderful day I might have. What have I got to worry about? Absolutely nothing. 

How do I keep so mentally cheerful? I have a filter in my brain that blocks all the crap. I can't remember when I last had a negative thought. We don't have to take any old stuff that is thrown at us. We have the ability to make our own choices, we can decide where we want to be, and my choice is to be happy. 

It goes without saying that a fit body, getting lots of exercise, is also the key to a healthy mind. It has been proven over and over again. Look at the difference between those who slump in front of the telly every night, eating takeaways and rubbish food, to someone who goes running, walking, cycling, and goes to the gym.  Look at the amount of empty cans and wine bottles in the recycling boxes. All these poor life choices will affect how the brain works. This is not me lecturing, anyone can do exactly as they like, but I personally try and look after myself. We only get one body, once it's knackered that's it. Now someone is going to point out that even slim healthy people can have heart attacks. There you go, I've said it for you so you don't have to bother putting that in a comment. 

I think I'm going to wind this up now, I've been rambling on long enough. Before I go though, I will say this. I know nothing about depression and mental health problems. If anyone thinks they are really struggling the best thing to do would be to seek help and support from a professionally qualified person. I am not that person. 

Thanks for popping in. We'll catch up soon.

Toodle pip

Addicted to the computer, ha ha.

Addicted to the computer, ha ha.

learning observations reflections on life

Hello. Something e said yesterday has given me a prompt for this post. She said, 'I have a coffee out habit that I need to stop, that's the next to go'.

My first thoughts are, well no, that doesn't have to go. Something that is enjoyable and gives pleasure makes life fun, and we all need some of that. To deprive ourselves of pleasurable experiences would make life pretty miserable and would get us down over a period of time.

There are good habits and bad habits. A good habit makes us feel happy, a bad habit causes us grief and makes us unhappy. It's a sliding scale, it's about knowing when a good habit becomes a bad habit, and ultimately becomes a problem.  Drinking copious amounts of coffee every day would be a punishment to our bodies and our purses, in the long term it could make us ill and skint.

At some point a bad habit would then become an obsession, and then an addiction, something to be avoided at all costs. Addictions can cause us to lose all sense of normality, a place where we would like to get back to before the blessed addiction took over our lives.

Seems like a habit could be the start of a slippery slope to me, and I'm not just talking about drinking coffee, it could be anything you do to excess. Best nip it in the bud before it takes hold. Easier said than done because that takes will power, and there is no one size fits all. Everyone has different levels of will power.

We all know the term, 'everything in moderation', and I agree with that. No need to deprive yourself of anything. Instead of having a coffee out every time you go out, you could take a drink with you from home on alternate days, make gradual changes over a few weeks instead of making your self miserable by suddenly stopping.

Now this method of weaning yourself off something may not work for all if you are a long way down the slippery slope and your life is controlled by a destructive addiction. Some people can go cold turkey then have to endure all the withdrawal symptoms that go with it. Suddenly stopping something and hoping your life can be changed by that one decision might work for some, but not everyone. Knowing your own personality comes into it, do you have the support you need around you, and do you ultimately know the place you want to be. Of course it goes without saying, if controlling your addiction is likely to affect your health, you must seek the advice of a doctor first.

So how do I incorporate the 'everything in moderation', into my own life? I like a Magnum ice cream when I am out for the day, but it's not always on my mind to buy one. If I see a fridge with a selection of different flavours they beckon me to lift the lid and choose one. I may walk away and resist the temptation because I don't fancy one, or I had one not so long ago. The longer the time scale between treats the more of a treat it is. A Magnum every day would be boring, make me sick, and at £1.80 each they would cost me a whopping £657 a year, madness.

Same with a bottle of wine. I only buy a bottle when I actually fancy it, to drink that day or the day after. I will pay £5 for it because I like the taste, and I don't know what expensive wine tastes like so I can't compare. My wine purchases are about two bottles a month now, and I see these as a treat. To drink it every day would ruin my liver, my heart, and I would put weight on. There's no danger of me becoming addicted to booze.

So, moving on. I am not trying to dictate here what anyone should or shouldn't be doing. The old sayings that have been around for centuries, like, 'Everything in moderation', and 'Variety is the spice of life', are actually true. We can have our treats, and we can try new ways of doing things. The world out there is for exploring our beliefs, our bodies, our relationships, and our minds. You decide whether you are doing something to excess, you decide when you want or need to make changes, and you decide whether you are in control or something is controlling you.

Slowly but surely, bit by bit, you can make the changes you want. It doesn't need to happen overnight, but the determination to succeed must be there in the first place. Good luck, and I hope you get the life you strive for. Best wishes,
Ilona

PS, and now I have broken my rule to write short posts in the summer because I want to do other things. Trouble is, that if something is on my mind, and an idea is triggered by something I have seen or read about, I have to go with it. So now I'm going to get of this chuffin computer and go outside. Toodle pip

Ten good reasons why ..............

Ten good reasons why ..............

health observations reflections on life

Hello. There are a lot of things going on around us which might cause us a lot of worry and upset, whether it  be inside our friends and family circle, or outside in the big wide world. It is very easy to be affected by what we see, what we read about and what others tell us face to face, because we all have feelings. Quite often it is difficult to control what we feel because our emotions are personal to us and part of our genetic make up. We can appear to be in control but we can also be caught off guard and become angry or sad pretty quickly when something negative happens. We don't always have a choice about how we feel.

But..... I also believe that in some circumstances our emotions can be controlled and we can learn how to deal with situations which may have a less than desirable outcome.  There are times when I feel that whatever I say or do will not make any difference to how a situation pans out, so it's best to take a back seat and do nothing. This is not to say I am not a caring person because I am. I do feel hurt and sadness, I do have empathy for someone who is in a bad place, but I am not going to beat myself up about something I have no control over whatsoever.

If something has affected me I will try and identify the solution. If I can't do anything to change things, to turn  a negative into a positive, I have to put my own feelings first. My coping strategy is to switch off.

So here are my ten good reasons why I might bury my head in the sand.

1. I can't do anything about it.
2. It's got nothing to do with me.
3. I don't want to know what happened.
4. I don't need to know what happened.
5. I need to protect my sanity.
6. It's not my fault.
7. I can ignore it.
8. It doesn't affect me.
9. I am not responsible for the outcome.
10. I don't need the stress.

You may have your own coping strategies. In these modern times in a fast moving world it would be very easy to absorb all the turmoil and upset we see around us. There has to be a cut off point, a time when we think of ourselves. It's not being selfish, it's a matter of self preservation, putting our own health and well being first.

Thanks for popping in. we'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip

They should be ashamed

They should be ashamed

reflections on life remembering

Hello. I haven't said much about the referendum and the bloody aftermath which has been unfolding in this last week or so, but now's the time. Today is the 100th anniversary of the Battle of the Somme, commemorations are taking place throughout Britain and France. The bloodiest battle ever in Military history took place, almost 20,000 British soldiers were killed on the first day. These men gave their lives for their country, a country that is now torn apart by a bunch of nasty, self obsessed bullies that will do anything to claw their way to the top.

The way our political so called leaders are behaving is an embarrassment to the country. They should be ashamed. We had a referendum, the people voted, and since then all hell has broke loose. Tempers have been boiling over and  the verbal punch up has been gathering momentum ever since. Our so called cabinet ministers who are supposed to be familiar with the democratic system have been scrapping among themselves, showing their true colours.  The media has been delighting in all this mayhem and is guilty of whipping up hysteria resulting in vicious name calling which has descended into bitter arguments more reminiscent of pack animals ripping their prey to shreds.

It seems every politician is a target for name calling and derogatory remarks about their appearance. That is called bullying, which then permeates right down through the pecking order from top to bottom, and ends up gaining momentum littering social media. Shouldn't they be setting an example by acting in a civilized manner? They should be ashamed.

Pessimism, doom and gloom, and glass half empty is a sure recipe for failure. Pessimism cripples ambition. Bullying destroys confidence and creates a hierarchy of self obsessed individuals, who are blinded by their own personal ambitions, oblivious to the wider picture. There is no room for this behavior in politics. You were voted in by the people to serve the people. We look to you for guidance, you are erasing any respect we had for you.

The country has a window of opportunity to build a better Britain, but will it happen? I doubt it, they are too busy squabbling among themselves. I want to slap their stupid backsides. I want every politician to apologize to every colleague they have hurt with their condescending and patronizing remarks. For goodness sake get your acts together. How can we look up to our leaders when they are no better than a bunch of kids in a playground fighting over the football.. They should be ashamed.

Uploaded ten years ago. Let's not forget.



Thanks for popping in.
Best wishes, Ilona