The choice is yours

The choice is yours

learning ponderings

Hello. I have a feeling that there is something I have to do today. Ah yes, it's on my calendar, as if I needed reminding. I have to go to the Village Hall, get a slip of paper, take it to a booth and make my mark thus X in the box of my choice. Simple.

I have come to my decision, I have listened, I have watched, I have read, it hasn't been easy. Going round in circles comes to mind, in one ear and out the other also comes to mind. I have used my brain to the best of my ability and processed all the information offered. The conclusions I draw are that yes, every vote counts, everyone should exercise their democratic right, but when the circus leaves town, what then? We all have to get on with our lives the best we can.

I used to be a worrier, it's normal to worry about the future when you are young. But as I get older I find I worry less. There's no point in worrying about things I cannot change. Will my cross make a difference, probably not, but at least I've made my choice. What happens after is out of my hands, I shall carry on as always.

I found a reference in a book I am reading at the moment, which prompted me to google a name. Dorothy Rowe is a psychologist who has changed how we understand ourselves. That's what it says on her website. This page seems particularly appropriate in today's political turmoil. How to Deal with a Crisis. The article sheds some light on how we can deal with things which are beyond our control. She says we have three choices. We can pretend it isn't happening, we can become very frightened, or we can become very angry. If you are experiencing mixed emotions about the outcome of the general election, you might want to have a look at this. 

Are you going to stop reading or listening to the news and ignore everything that is happening around you? Are you going to become so scared that you retreat into your own little bubble? Or are you going to scream and shout and stamp about because your team didn't win? The choice is yours.

Time for breakfast. Thanks for popping in, we'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip.

Addicted to the computer, ha ha.

Addicted to the computer, ha ha.

learning observations reflections on life

Hello. Something e said yesterday has given me a prompt for this post. She said, 'I have a coffee out habit that I need to stop, that's the next to go'.

My first thoughts are, well no, that doesn't have to go. Something that is enjoyable and gives pleasure makes life fun, and we all need some of that. To deprive ourselves of pleasurable experiences would make life pretty miserable and would get us down over a period of time.

There are good habits and bad habits. A good habit makes us feel happy, a bad habit causes us grief and makes us unhappy. It's a sliding scale, it's about knowing when a good habit becomes a bad habit, and ultimately becomes a problem.  Drinking copious amounts of coffee every day would be a punishment to our bodies and our purses, in the long term it could make us ill and skint.

At some point a bad habit would then become an obsession, and then an addiction, something to be avoided at all costs. Addictions can cause us to lose all sense of normality, a place where we would like to get back to before the blessed addiction took over our lives.

Seems like a habit could be the start of a slippery slope to me, and I'm not just talking about drinking coffee, it could be anything you do to excess. Best nip it in the bud before it takes hold. Easier said than done because that takes will power, and there is no one size fits all. Everyone has different levels of will power.

We all know the term, 'everything in moderation', and I agree with that. No need to deprive yourself of anything. Instead of having a coffee out every time you go out, you could take a drink with you from home on alternate days, make gradual changes over a few weeks instead of making your self miserable by suddenly stopping.

Now this method of weaning yourself off something may not work for all if you are a long way down the slippery slope and your life is controlled by a destructive addiction. Some people can go cold turkey then have to endure all the withdrawal symptoms that go with it. Suddenly stopping something and hoping your life can be changed by that one decision might work for some, but not everyone. Knowing your own personality comes into it, do you have the support you need around you, and do you ultimately know the place you want to be. Of course it goes without saying, if controlling your addiction is likely to affect your health, you must seek the advice of a doctor first.

So how do I incorporate the 'everything in moderation', into my own life? I like a Magnum ice cream when I am out for the day, but it's not always on my mind to buy one. If I see a fridge with a selection of different flavours they beckon me to lift the lid and choose one. I may walk away and resist the temptation because I don't fancy one, or I had one not so long ago. The longer the time scale between treats the more of a treat it is. A Magnum every day would be boring, make me sick, and at £1.80 each they would cost me a whopping £657 a year, madness.

Same with a bottle of wine. I only buy a bottle when I actually fancy it, to drink that day or the day after. I will pay £5 for it because I like the taste, and I don't know what expensive wine tastes like so I can't compare. My wine purchases are about two bottles a month now, and I see these as a treat. To drink it every day would ruin my liver, my heart, and I would put weight on. There's no danger of me becoming addicted to booze.

So, moving on. I am not trying to dictate here what anyone should or shouldn't be doing. The old sayings that have been around for centuries, like, 'Everything in moderation', and 'Variety is the spice of life', are actually true. We can have our treats, and we can try new ways of doing things. The world out there is for exploring our beliefs, our bodies, our relationships, and our minds. You decide whether you are doing something to excess, you decide when you want or need to make changes, and you decide whether you are in control or something is controlling you.

Slowly but surely, bit by bit, you can make the changes you want. It doesn't need to happen overnight, but the determination to succeed must be there in the first place. Good luck, and I hope you get the life you strive for. Best wishes,
Ilona

PS, and now I have broken my rule to write short posts in the summer because I want to do other things. Trouble is, that if something is on my mind, and an idea is triggered by something I have seen or read about, I have to go with it. So now I'm going to get of this chuffin computer and go outside. Toodle pip